the very worst thing

over on patreon Camille Alexander asked for evil women so you know i had to make a whole squad that mixed in a bunch of other prompts.

Amy Crook wanted bones, Siadea wanted hummingbirds, FyreNWater wanted ‘soft, yet unyeilding, Triskadeka12 wanted discarded cocoons (though the one here is still in use), Beelezbuddy wanted lamps, and Kona Goodhart wanted 'wagtails sing’.

Fun Fact: all of these ladies can take on human form, at least for a little while, but drawing them in their more fae/monstery forms is much more fun.

These 4 ladies are the Queens of the House Of Returned Wings. It’s a secret society where people who know in their hearts that they must have fae blood or were a fae in a past life learn to use their latent powers to take control of their lives, be their own bosses, and eventually cross the veil to regain their rightful status in the realm of the fae. One teeny tiny problem is that only people who can really prove they deserve to be uplifted get to come live at the House where they can mingle with the Queens and learn the true fae arts before they are sent across the veil to start their new lives. So much recruitment and strange rituals and labor intensive but low paying work to be done. So many paychecks that are desperately needed turned into envelopes full of cash that are thrown into fairy circles that appear in back yards and are gone as soon as backs are turned.

But those little bits of magic you get back are totally worth it.  The queens give out such amazing wishes for loyalty. So what if the price becomes heavier each time and the wishes seem to wear off quicker and quicker with more and more disastrous results? That’s only because the magic is borrowed from these incredibly gracious ladies. If you work hard enough you’ll have your own magic back, and you won’t have to worry about any silly time limit or spell corruption.

No, this isn’t a super culty magic MLM. Why do you ask?

Let’s talk about the queens.

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happy friday the 13th from some of our luckiest little friends at the cat cafe! and Ginger. who saw everyone else getting attention and would not leave.

anyway, here we have:

the aforementioned Ginger!

Cosmo!

Nyx!

over on patreon Tama asked for: ‘Selkies who live in a lake rather than an ocean, like irl Baikal seals’ so here are some fresh water friends. a jolly trader stepping out for the day, a dancer trying on an algae-dyed skirt, a cocky wrestler in pre-match ceremonial garb, and a bab.

General Selkie Facts:

Selkies in the Small Guide universe are somewhere between mermaids and werewolves. Except it would be more accurate to call them were-humanoids. They’re born in seal form and their skin doesn’t loosen until their first molt approaches. After this molt they can usually  remove their seal-skin at will, though many go their whole lives without completely removing it and just vibe in their half transformed forms by loosening their skins (seen here). They keep them attached as faux clothing since they’re able to split and mold the loose skin as they please. Also, trying to find somewhere to to keep clothes when you live in or near the water your whole life is a pain. This does not hurt, as seal-skin is strangely gelatinous  when loose and its tactile sense is kinda garbage. Like, if you stomp on someone’s skin with all your might they will certainly feel it, but it’d probably take them a while to figure out that you’re gently pinching one of their weird flesh tentacles.

Also don’t do that. That’s weird. 

A seal-skin is a real living part of a selkie’s body and it doesn’t stop living when they completely take it off. It’s an organ, and it acts like one. All skins look kind of creepy without a person inside them, but some are worse than others. It’s just as likely that a skin will look like a deflated, gently pulsating, seal-shaped jelly monster as it will a roiling pile of random fur and flesh. When there’s no one to control its structure, anything goes baybeeeeee.

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i’m in art block hell and i can’t stop reading the news so i decided to take a break and draw a funky little dude.

the hand of fate pointed towards @bowelfly’s good boi Trungo and now here we are.

@anoki asked what April showers bring over on patreon and the answer is this friend.

the dwarves that share the deep, deep, caves with them rarely see their kind, but they like to come to the surface to sip fresh rainwater and hang out in flooded areas. you can come over and talk to them if you want. they already know you’re there anyway.

they don’t need eyes to see you.

happy mermay everybody!

Lewis Moodely asked for ‘extradimensional eldritch beings on a date’ over on patreon, so here are two possible love birds dropping their disguises for a bit to talk (or whatever their equivalent is). don’t worry about them getting caught by nosy seekers of forbidden universal truths, this section of the park doesn’t exist from 11:48 pm to 3: 21 am on Saturdays.

*bangs fists on table* more oc’s. more oc’s. moRE OC’S

Once upon a time, an ancient grove of sentient trees was sent outside the veil to acquire human tithes for the fairy queen. To accomplish this, the grove decided to create beautiful nymphs to lure unsuspecting humans to their doom.

They were not very good at it.

Mire was their first Quality Nymph. And that was surprising since they had buried her seed somewhere and lost the dang thing for like a month because they couldn’t remember where it was (listen, all these mundane forests look the same okay?). They eventually found her in a nearby swamp, drifting along lazily beside a giant gator and sipping a coca-cola she’d gotten from somewhere.

When she burped, a dragonfly flew out of her mouth.

Okay.

Okay this was fine. She was alive and hot, that’s all they needed. Humans were dumb as fuck.

Long story short, Mire was good at her intended purpose but was also a little too feral and smart to keep up with her orders for long. She didn’t give a frog’s fat ass about the fairy queen. She’d never met her and from what she heard from her creator she probably wouldn’t like her. And some of the humans she found were fun! They talked about cool moss and brought her snacks, why couldn’t she keep those ones? This was bullshit.

Eventually she spent more and more time in the swamp until she kind of…became the swamp.

The fairy queen sent Disciplinary Action after her one time.

Those fae are still lost in the swamp to this day. Just traveling in circles and occasionally catching horrifying glimpses of something in the rough shape of a beautiful woman. She’ll probably let them out eventually. If she remembers.

Forgetfulness runs in the family you see.

Mire is currently happy as a clam in her swamp. She’s integrated herself into the local dryad community and generally does what she wants. Despite how…Intense…encountering her can be, she’s pretty nice. Generally non-lethal. Both magical and non-magical earth creatures like having her around because her presence keeps the fairy queen out of their freakin’ backyards. That bitch needs to stay in her own house.

She still keeps up with The Grove like a child keeps up with a parent, which honestly freaks The Grove out because she is clearly not entirely their kid and they have no idea what got a hold of that seed when they lost it but there is a borderline old god energy in her that they DO NOT appreciate.

Also her resemblance to my character Goldie is not a coincidence. She’s their adoptive auntie and contributed some of the biological materials that helped them survive.

Fun facts: she doesn’t have nails on her ring or pinky fingers (like a gator), she loves sun hats, and she prefers either super light and sheer or no clothing. The last one is probably because she was built for seducin’ but she says it’s because clothes get weighed down in water and who has time to change every time you want to swim?

self care is deciding you deserve a goth monster clown oc. this is Lookie and and her little friend Lu.

there’s a great monstrous harpy that lives in the woods over the hill. at least, they call her a harpy. no one’s ever gotten close enough to ask her what she calls herself.

a giant shooting-star-nosed mole relocates patches of forest by hand as the fire draws near.

a compassionate friend for Oilzumbie over on patreon!

another patreon critter prompt for Hannah Blanke! it’s chimera time bay-beeee.

i figure chimeras probably come in plenty of distinct mutations and can probably breed with most other creatures in their size range. resulting offspring would just be a chimera with one of the heads and bits of the body resembling the non-chimera parent. different mixes have different attributes and sometimes very different critters, but 99% of the time they stick to feline head, ungulate head, (rarely) dragon head, and snake tail.

this lady with the impressive teeth and fused faces had a unicorn daddy, which seems very fancy and desirable to rich people with private menageries who have no idea how dangerous that is.

this is moments before a group of poachers have a very bad time.  

she probably hangs out with Lady Princess, the snowy owl hippogriff.

come on down to the cat cafe for the Kitten Sunday adoption event to meet:

Saguaro,

Raven,

Puffball,

and Lily!

the cat cafe is still open so come on down and meet some kitties! we got:

Stripes,

Pirate Jenny,

Saint River,

and sassy Mr. Pa'sketti!

You know, Like Nyah.